Name: cleng
a twenty-seven year old walking around looking like sixteen(and believe me, that's not always good). a frustrated writer and lover of literature, reading hard bound nancy drew books when i was nine, making crazy poems, keeping a now embarrassing journal, and wanting to be a journalist for as long as i can remember (except for that brief time i so wanted to become a ballerina). but the Lord led me to a entirely different path. im now a licensed physician, though i wonder, can a doctor become as kikay and as loud as i am? hehe. i can be really weird and extremely emotional, but pretty much tolerable. i'm just being a girl, i guess. =)
annoying
ate renz
claire loves Christ
claud
claude
dea
enoch
girl power!!!!
homebase
i hate men!!!!
jc
jm's motime blog
joss stone:soul sessions
kurlie's songs
kuya chad
MY GORGEOUS PICS!!!
my other diary
pinoy saints
reah
richelle
sj
whatever
today
June 2005
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December 2004
November 2004
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September 2004
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visited *loading* times
pretty soon my paranoid status will kill me
the day of my pedriatrics exam. its 6:30 in the morning and i'm at my mom's office, kasi sumabay ako sa kanya. i was afraid wont be able to make it to ust from antipolo.friendster and my space is blocked here, so what's a girl to do? i have slow jamz by twista playing sa yahoo launch. hmmm...im thinking...dangerous thing gaya nga ng sinabi ko dati. about what? a whole lot of stuff that just goes unfiltered in my head, i guess this is the time my mind chose to sort it out. some things are left with me just waiting to see what happens. may mga bagay na may look simple then turns out completely illogical. you see things in a certain way but you cant seem to shake off the thought at the back of your head that it isnt entirely real. i think i have one foot dipped into the world of the surreal,and it is because i choose to. if you can just pick the people and the events that come into play in your life. if only you get to choose personalities and take away complicated issues. you cant.
Waaahh!!! Seems like I have more exams coming my way. Exams, exam, exams!!!! They never stop coming. I cant write my summer entry pa kasi I might run into the entry again in the future and get all depressed because I wasnt able to do all those stuff. But at least i get to rest kahit over the weekend. Hay, but still…review na nman sa Monday. Arrgh!!! E ano pa nga ba magagawa ko. Hala, cge. Bring on the pain!!! Hehe sayang. I bought the ultimate summer earrings and have the white capris na. go na go na talaga ako for the summer. jamie and christel have heard me sing Sheryl Crow’s “soak up the sun” over and over again like a broken record ( or a scratched pirated cd). Pero it seems the more I reach for it, umaatras siya. Hehe buti nman im in a better mood na. grabe kanina I felt like crap. Kala ko tpos na e kailangan ko pa rin magaral. Didn’t feel well kaya d na ako sumama sa eastwood with paula, karla, ingrid and ollah. I ran across karla last Friday at glorietta, grabe I really miss her. And may boylet pa ako to go. Grabe, a jumble of topics today. Na pag connect niyo ba? basta, im at the tips of my toes, ready to jump into summer. The last summer of my life. Please, let me have it!!!
Next issue. I guess everything’s settled na. finally. After a 2 hour Claire-getting-all-worked-up-and–really-fuming argument over the phone (I think he wished he never called me), and tons of his apologies sa text. I think I finally made my point. Buti nlang im not the type who clams up lalo na sa friends ko when I’m really upset. Christel said I’m great at confrontations. Cguro nga, pero sa mga taong sobrang kilala ko lang. For people I don’t know, well I consider a counterattack (yung tipong lashing out, sagutan effect) not worth my time kasi I wouldnt care less. No relationship to salvage there. Anyway, going back to the main topic. This was like one of the major confrontations ever. I was able to say everything I wanted- in a nice way. Meaning I didn’t say anything I regretted after. But I think some things did hurt. O well, my friendship with this person? Wwaaayyy too complicated. We thrive on tampuhans and miscommunications. Pero good thing though, we always try to settle it. we talk it out and try to hear each other's side and eventually end up with bigger issues (then we calm down and it’s over). We’re not really completely normal now, we do not keep in touch like before and we havnt see each other pa. maybe it has something to do with us being busy, or maybe space is what we need right now while waiting for things to cool down. But the thing is, we’re still friends. Still close friends (we certainly made it clear kanina, muntik na nman nga magaway). this is not just something that we would allow to fade. Kala ko he would allow that to happen, pero I think im wrong-sana. Good. I don’t want to stay nagtatampo to one of those things I call monkeys.
i wrote this last night. posted it in my other diary cause motime was being uncooperative again. 3 days in one entry. you're in for one long reading.
2004-03-26 - 1:20 a.m.
finally took a breather from one impossible week. my major exams are over..pero there's still more medical school drama to come. il have to hold on to the edge of my seat for now. hay cant totally enjoy the vactaion pa... all our plans for summer fun are put on hold.
speaking of impossible..there's this billboard sa C5, adidas yata yun. d ko masyadong memorized yung buong slogan (unless i asked my mom to stop in the middle of a speeding highway para mabasa ko), pero i was inspired.
IMPOSSIBLE IS NOT A FACT. IT iS AN OPINION. IMPOSSIBLE IS TEMPORARY. IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING.
hehe. galing no? we keep saying that things are impossible, but some people just defy it. i admire people like that. to jump right in without testing the water. such guts. hay, kahit sa ordinary life naman d ba? basta. nothing is impossible. lalo na k Lord.
now im spending quality time with myself, to think back on the really busy, kakaibang weeks that i had to go through. i wasnt about to write about it, and well, some things you cant really say when you've got public access (especially if its really nasty..hehe). wala lang, so much. so much has happened.
last weekend was well, a little bit off sa timing kasi i was so focused in stretching my time to the limit trying to finish everything that i had to read, pero i had a glimpse of the life i had before med school. my first ever inaanak, nav had his child dedication last saturday, and i finally got hold of my dear church friends. we see each other pag sundays pero hi and bye was all i could afford to do because i was always in a hurry to go home. i had long chat with antonette, about everything we've missed out this year, and about two certain brothers we think are so hot (hehe..how i wish sisters-in-law kami). it felt nice to be with friends again. and i got this box of prayers as a souvenir from the event, which is really helping me a lot these days, when i need to take a break and remember God. Nav is so big na, so gwapo. grabe goodlooking- so much like ninang.
love you nav...
last sunday was also my first youth fellowship in months. hehe it was sort of pilit nung una kasi i had to emcee for it. it was also the first ever joint youth fellowship of the east central area churches of the assemblies of God. i was so glad i didnt turn down my job that sunday. alam mo yun, kahit na i had three exams the day after (siyempre, si claire nun anxious na, in a panic mode). pero it felt so good being in a room with people who love God as much as i do. i miss how it felt like to worship God that intense. to hear a pastor speak on something i can truly relate to, and to have good clean fun with friends. i had Tyntyn jacob from pasig first AG as my co-host, and if any of you has the tiniest idea of who she is, then you can understand why i had a riot emceeing (tama ba?).
at ito lang ha. i feel i could say this here kasi wala nman bad stuff on it. donnie was there too. for the first time we were in the confines of a rather small, closed space (the room was really big pero still too small for me). in some way, i felt bad kasi things are not the same, and im not even sure when they will be. pero in my heart at that time i was thanking God that i was able to get over that raging anger that i had. i guess we could be in the same places and around the same people na. i wouldnt want him to stop coming and participating in church events and i sure wouldnt let him stop me from going also. funny how things turn out sometimes, well, i just have to learn to live around situations like these.
kanina (meaning yesterday, thursday kasi madaling umaga na ngayon) was the year end lunch out-movie gimik i had with my subsec (guess kung sino may pakana nun ----> supersexy me). kahit na sobrang stressed na the entire week im happy everybody preferred to drag themselves to robinson's ermita with me (except fritz. hehe).we ended out pigging out sa chef d angelo (which i recommend-meron din sa galleria). and everyone was amazed of how much food i can stuff in my petite body (siyempre everyone diagnosed me being hyperthyroid). i have the appetite of a construction worker after a hard day's work (hehe, suddenly i remember kuya chad's unbelieving stares everytime we go out for meals).
we watched fifty first dates. it was so nice-at siyempre you know's next:
what i think about the movie fifty first dates:
who i watched it with: oliver, jeki, cielo, avi, jamie, poty, abi (talagang in order pa sa subsec)
sobrang feel good, kilig movie. siyempre classic adam sandler style, sobrang nakakatawa. nandun pa c rob scheider. and i love the fact that adam sandler was a marine bilogist dun. his role is my 3rd dream- although this one i dont take seriously...naman. pero i used to love going to zoos with my mom when we're out of the country. i spent 30 minutes in the penguin exhibit sa singapore jurong bird park, and i almost fell into the sea lion tank sa sydney trying to reach the animal (take note: no one was there at that time but me). there were walruses, dolphins and penguins in the movie. made me rally happy.
the sentiment of the story was really simple but profound. adam sandler helped get drew barrymore's life back. kasi siyempre db sinabi na s trailer na she had short term memory loss (which sent us subsec again in a discussion trying to figure out the pathophysio of her condition). she couldnt remember any of the stuff she had gone through the day before. but adam stood by her and found a way to keep her.
i know im not as wierd as drew's character (although i could be), pero as usual naiingit na nman ako. sana i could have someone like that. who would again, sabi ko nga sa umpisa, would defy odds to stick with me. to really be happy to stay with me in spite of.
hmmm..at ito pa!!!!
kanina pinakita yung trailer for the peter pan movie (3rd version ive seen in my lifetime). and i had a funny thought. actually i remembered someone and had a funny thought: even if soak this person in fairy dust, she wouldnt be able to fly one inch off the ground to never never land. another metaphor to think about.
this has got to be the longest entry ever.
semiresolved issue. pero question: a door swings both ways, right? wala lang, i just find it funny.
correct ka melo. for once (kelan ba yun huli?) iisipin ko nman sarili ko at hindi ibang tao. claire muna. time to salvage my trampled spirit. ok lang sana, ewan ko ba. im so into making other people feel ok na sobrang kawawa na pala ako. kawawang claire. d iniintindi kahit na alam na she's upset. wala lang. m waiting for some sort of comforting word or at least a hint na he understands what im feeling...kakaiba. kakaiba mga tao. feeling nila claire is so strong and tough that she can handle things on her own. hahayaan nlang ako sa problemang d nman talga ako kasali. no effort whatsover to even try to resolve anything. ano? hintayan nlang? pakiramdaman nlang kung sino unang mababaliw? i wont wait for that. arrgh!!! allergic ako sa mga taong who refuse to be happy. kinasasama ng loob ko? ngayon ako nasa alanganin, bigla nlang nawala. friend ba kita ha? bakit d ko naramdaman? kasi tinatakasan mo lahat ito. grabe it suddenly hits ur face na sinaktan ka. pasimple lang e!!!! ayan... people will finally get what they want. na mawala ako. if i remove myself from this maddening equation maybe things would be better. lalo na sakin. dun nlang muna ako sa mga taong makikinig at sasaklolo. i need angel support!!!! i need fred. nasan ka na ba?!!!! baliw na rin ba? pasa ko muna trabaho k melo na tigasalo ng mga nawawalang kaluluwa (mga lost). kaya mo yan pare...pahinga muna ako. control your temper and stay nice and sweet. hehe ONE WORD: misserable (nman!!!)
cant help it. kelangan ko talagang magsulat. yan ang passion pare. this is the first time this week that i was able to stay up late-ewan ko ba whats wrong with me...dati i can do away with three hours sleep and 21 waking hours everyday (special senses pa yun ha, walang kwenta). pero ngayon yung body alarm clock ko seems to be malfunctioning...kakaiba. i never hear my fone's alarm go off anymore. no more of my so-called one hour mega power naps. ngayon pa na kailangan ko. hay. kahapon i slept mga 8pm expecting to wake up mga 10. pag gising ko lo and behold 2am na. sobrang nainis ako. d ko alam kung matutuwa ako na d ako puyat o maiinis dahil d na nman ako nakapagaral. buti nlang ngayon at this hour wala pang drowsy feeling. hehe i can blog away then. naku,mahaba haba ito.
kanina while waiting for christel to finish sa small group discussions niya, i had a online chat with one of the people i met in myspace. nalaman ko na he is a sportswriter for the manila times. he is living my dream (well, my other dream). all my life i wanted to be a writer, ever since i was a kid palang. i would write poems (il post them as soon as i have the time), write mala sweet valley teens na mini novels (i think mine was called cookie cutter sisters-hehe). alam nyo i cant pinpoint kung kelan ko talaga naisip maging doctor. pero i really have no regrets. lagi kong sinasabi na i feel that i am exactly where i should be-where God wants me to be. kanina dra. magboo was telling my subsec how life is hard as a doctor lalo na if you're a woman and you have to balance family and career. basta there are lots of other stuff she said. at first it felt demoralizing, pero typical train of thought ko na if ill be scared now na wala pang nangyayari, how will i arrive where i want to be? press on lang and dont look at distractions. pero what really keeps me going is that i know that this is God plan for me. all through college and med i have seen His hand move sa buhay ko. i have seen things fall miraculously in their places. its a feeling that no matter how hard the times are your path is already paved for you by the One who holds everything in His hands. kaya i dont worry too much about the future. heck, i still have a lot to worry about my present life pa.
before i forget..i think this girl rocks. check out her music..
teka may isa pa, sobrang astig ng testi sakin ng pinoy saints sa friendster. check this out!!!!
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PinoySaints, 03/13/2004: i went YEAH!!!!(tipong rock star effect) THAT'S EXACTLY THE KIND OF PERSON I WANT TO BE. hehe kahit alam kong generic lang yung testi.dont care if i fall short sa mga categories na yun for now. pero at least maremind ako everytime i look at my account. at buti nlang d baduy ginamit kong pangalan. kung hindi yun ang lalabas sa a.k.a. ko. hmm, what else to say? well, im upset about something pero i think immune na ako. tipong bahala ka kung anong gusto mong mangyari. e ang gulo nila e. kakainis na. i dont think any of the people involved (cge na nga makisama na ako) is happy right now. i was only trying to help. nagkakagulo. nobody is winning and i dont think im competing nyway. sbi ng isang monkey ko i shouldent let other people affect me too much. lalo na pag may kakaibang pagiisip. sobrang kakaiba pare. nakakasama ng loob. game plan ko? lalayo nlang muna para wala nlang masabi. para wala nlang malungkot. if that's what it takes para matahimik na lahat. pride swallowing dpat d b sabi sa pinoy saints? ako nlang magparaya. cge na. well, thats it muna i guess. daldal ko no? |
aaarrrgh!!!! ayoko na!!!! kasali ba ako ha??!!!! magsilayo nga kayo sakin!!! i dont want to be dragged down. enough na.
arrived early sa school kaya i still have enough time to squeeze a little info about my totally stick-your-head-into-your-book life i live nowadays. grabe, my being a medical student is at its full swing-at least the reading part. ever had an exam where the coverage is the whole book? or ever felt like the pages never seem to decrease in number as you read on? bhala na next week. wouldnt want to use the term pero hell week talaga. this weekend pa sobrang daming pupuntahan. bibinyagan na ang aking first ever inaanak-si nav (nyak!!!wala pa akong gift). and i have to emcee sa joint fellowship. hay, i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. basta il try not to slack off.
one more thing though, grabe what some people will do para makafish. grabe, you wouldnt want to read my mind right now. d ko alam kung matatawa, maawa, o maiinis ako. isipin mo nlang sana ginagawa mo.
lots of time in my hands today. pano, 2:30 pa class ko. and i would rather blog than study. pano, semiwasted na ko. iv been awake since 1 in the morning. wierd talaga sleeping habits ko. as if nman may maretain kang info sa ganong mga oras ng gabi-at umaga. pero i guess hindi nman ako in a bad mood...sana. hehe
congratulations nga pala to andy for getting into UST MED. welcome to my world: where sleep is practically a luxury. where adams, harrison and snell are the hottest guys on the block. where caffeine is THE NEW WATER (hehe, nababasa mo ba ito, christel?). where toxicity, intelligence and kasipagan is on a whole new level. enjoy.
hmm...had a fight with someone. dunno kung sino may fault pero i think both have an excuse to be irritable. d ko nman talaga balak mangaway e. i just want my side to be heard tapos ok na. kaso nagkasagutan pa. hay..i dont think il be hearing from him soon. major tampuhan.
one more thing bothers me. do you guys sometimes feel that youre in the middle of a war (d nman violent, basta mga d lang mga pagkakaimtindihan), tpos youre standing exactly in the war zone? and you cant choose sides, but youre desprate you settle things for them. pero u cant, kasi laban nila yun e. saka may wounds that havent healed yet. kahit sabihin natin the white flag has gone up, still no one wants to bury the hatchet. nahahati ako. i want both sides to merge. because i love both persons involved. but how to do it? gusto ko lang to be with both of them at the same time. hati ang lahat. mga kaibigan. mga lakad. pero still, all i can do is stand still on that war zone. somebody please shoot me down.ako palagi natatamaan ng mga balang d nman talga para sakin e.
grabe, i stayed up all night trying to stuff biochem info sa aking miniscule brain..hehe stayed up all night pano natulog ako most of the day. dapuan ba nman ng antok kung kelan kailangan mo ng as many waking hours as possible. two more weeks to go...hay...cant wait for the schoolyear to end and jump start on vacation bliss. dami kong naiisip gawin pero magagawa ko ba yun? parang ang daming pang dapat iconsider. parang i have to think about other stuff rather than having fun. basta. im going to rest. and buy books iv always want to read (including the whole joshua harris collection-hehe ano kaya meron dun?). pero hint hint yun kung meron gustong magbigay. pati yung mga cosmopolitan pocketbook series (drama queen, breakup diaries). funny how im excited to read all this stuff but it takes a huge amount of effort to get through a page of harrisons. il be lucky if i get to finish a page in 45 minutes.
pero in the meantime, im going to try something. try ko muna d makialam sa ibang tao. hirap iexplain e. basta. DETACHMENT (as in diabetic proliferative retinopathy- haha yuck ka claire!!!!). napagod ako all of a sudden to...basta d ko maexplain. il try to indulge myself in my own affairs muna at hindi sa walang humpay na drama ng ibang tao. kasi i dont want to get sad when they are sad. at least for a while muna. para naman ako nman ang maalala. hmm..maalala nga kaya ako?we'll see. cge na...have to attend surgey
can i just vent? of course i can. journal ko to e. ayaw kong maging malungkot all the way kaya drop off ko na dito. para d ko na isipin ng isipin and i can go back to may cheerful self (kunwari).
wala lang. parang naisip ko lang na sobrang tanga ko pala dati. sobrang d ako nagiisip. i settled for someone who didnt treat me right. at least half of the time. kanina me and my girl subsecs were talking about relationship stuff, and jeki was complaining how her bf wasnt thoughtful enough on her birthday. naalala ko tuloy yung last birthday ko and how terrible it was. inaway ako. ni walang kahit ano na binigay. the all about claire day of the year. the one time of the year na right ko to feel special. but i felt like crap that day. wala lang. and i just understood it. e pano...c claire ako e. i always understand. kaya lagi nalang taken for granted.
i forgot what it was like to feel appreciated, needed. sana ako nman ang intindihin...alagaan. sana i have someone who values the things that matter to me, yung taong importante sakin, yung mga special dates like my birthday, valentines. someone who, at the end of a long day will ask me how it went and will allow me to rant or rave for as long as i like. someone who will truly listen, hold me and tell that everything will be alright. someone who will understand na minsan masungit ako because of certain situations and would try to make me smile. someone who i know genuinely shares my happiness and pain. and someone who will go out of his way once in a while to make me feel that im worth something to him, and that for him im special more that i could imagine.
hindi nman boyfriend. just someone.
hay, tpos bukas im all about girl power. independence. the who needs men speech. hehe wag nyo nlang ako seryosohin today.
ive opened someone else's friendster account. hay naku claire, i thought u are over this na...
entries would dwindle e no. hehe. wala lang. i got a good start sa dalawang quizzes kanina sa skills lab (meaning i didnt mess up big time), kaya i'm a little upbeat pa. hmmm, my semestrals pala kami tomorrow morning ngayon ko lang naalala. o well.
pero short lang. alam niyo minsan (talagang dedicated to all e no), d ko alam kung matutuwa ako or malulungkot sa isang situation. hehe naramdaman niyo na ba yun? (just making sure i'm normal). yung tipong youre happy the way things turned out pero not completely kasi you know someone, or several people out there are not happy with the way things are. half half. once again i tend to get involved with what other people feel. hehe typical me. wala lang. just have to wait and see what will happen. its just that when i get to read something or i hear this one particular song, i get sad. pano may naalala akong tao (oy, hindi boy ha..pero may connect). i have shared and known the pain and i know its genuine and real (kahit sobrang tagilid nman yung dahilan). hehe cguro i dont want to see anyone that sad lalo na kung i can truly relate. pagpray nlang kita kahit d mo alam...
i know we cannot be always happy. i thank God for letting me go through hard times (and helping me out siyempre!!!) to bring out the His plans for me. parang unbearable lang minsan pero God will never allow that. God's little spanks and disciplinary measures lang. saka may binibigay nman siyang survival kit satin e. i have the complete set. sana i can be part of someone else's. i have learned that going through rough times are not entirely bad.
we sang this song last sunday sa church at damang dama ko siya:
...my heat and my strength, many times they fail
but there is one truth that always will prevail
God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever
for the next few weeks, my entries will dwindle.
my life would now revolve on THE DOCTOR'S BIBLE: HARRISON'S PRINCIPLES OF INTERNAL MEDICINE.
kahit it would probably kill me i will try to finish all the reading assignments. plus neuroscience. plus surgery.
nabuhay na nman nga ang starbucks study team, with the addition ni jamie yesterday.
im thankful i can stay there kahit late na kasi meron sasama sakin pauwi (hehe thanks syo!!! princesa talaga ako).
pero nalungkot nga ako pano there's so much i want to do- sa church, with family and friends, my myself pero there's no choice but to study right now. hehe FOCUS CLAIRE...u are an adult, u can discipline yourself, u will become a doctor.
previous entries from diaryland.com. topak kasi motime e
2004-02-29 - 6:55 p.m.
today i feel bad about something. feeling ko i took someone for granted. my mom was half right pala e. half right lang. hehe i mean oo nga, this person has done a lot for me, does me favors, keeps in touch etc. pero sometimes parang reflex ang mga ginagawa ko. minsan i dont feel like being nice e. maybe i should try being a little bit nicer to people who are nice to me. pero minsan sobrang bigat sa loob ko e. and i dont want other people to have the wrong idea about it.
pero baka nga may masamang ugali ako. i tend to neglect old friends just because i know that they are always there. maybe i put my trust and appreciate the wrong people, hindi kaya? cno ba talaga ang dapat pahalagahan? i trust people too easily. kasi i want them to expect the same from me. pero d pala sa lahat ng tao pwede mangyari yung ganun no. sad reality pero there are some people who will turn their back on you and leave. lately ive been thinking kung ganun ako sa ibang tao.
this weekend made me step back and look at the people that currently surrounds me, which is a lot. it is a multitude of family, firends, aquaintances. a lot of names and faces. my world came to a halt with the question, WHO IS WORTH KEEPING? i wont do a process of elimination. i dunno. i guess i have to take a breather again. i hope my true friends know how much they mean to me. i hope i am showing them how much they mean to me. yun lang. cguro i have to restart my friendship software talaga. bigla akong naguluhan. seryoso.
i better start apologizing to this dear friend of mine. sana i can also reconcile with other people. i know that not all people like me, and things can never be perfect,. but somehow il try to make things close enough.
SONG IN MY HEAD: THIS LOVE BY MAROON 5
lagi ko na itong nakikita dati pa sa mtv alert and it sort of grew on me. i started liking it na, not the video though. try to listen to it.
one more thing: naholdup ako ni sonia tan!!! i bought this gorgeous bracelet. hay, there goes my cellphone fund!!! sobrang softie ko talaga sa accessories. kakainis!!!
2004-03-01 - 5:25 p.m.
my thoughts today:
about yesterday...(ano ba yan labo!!!hehe)-check out previous entry
on being nice...
here's what i thought of...u dont have to stop being nice just because some people walk away from you. u trust and appreciate people because that is God's image flowing through u towards other people. u do not do it for any other reason but to show them a taste of what God is and could be in their lives, if they only let Him. it should be the most natural thing for you.
yup, maybe that's it. hindi nman ako plastic na tao e (i think) if i dont like you i wont talk to you. my friends, lagi nilang nahahalata if im upset or nagtatampo or what. pero may this be a reality check for me. na minsan i neglect some people. better start identifying who they are.
ahh..some things you realize after much thought. maybe i am still immature in some ways. need to patch up those areas. i hope you guys are learning something from my life (kahit na sabog!!). i hope we grow up together. i hardly get to talk to people nowadays kaya i cant unload much. dito nlang muna siguro. pero if you guys need to tell me sumthing, siyempre ill make myself available for consultation. hehe, ikaw ba ay nalolongkot at walang makaosap?
do u guys think i think too much about stuff (ano ba yan,,,paulit ulit yung think na word!!!)? feeling ko i write entries that are way too long, and that i show so much of myself d2. what do you guys think of claire? moody? cranky? always worries? hopeless romantic? ewan. i used to worry about what other people think, because i built this ideal concept of me in my head, about what i should be and what people should think about me. pero ngayon, oo nman i am aware of my actions and how it affects people, pero i know that i cant please everyone. and my friends are perfectly fine with what i am (yata!!). still, if there are some areas in me that need improvement...let me know. basta constructive ha!!! wag nyo nman akong masyadong lait laitin. hehe joke.
there you go. you have once again drowned in my think tank. tomorrow nman ulit!!!
my latest entry is on claireceliz.diaryland.com labo kasi ng motime e
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