in limbo

yesterday was one of the best sundays i had in a long time. its like taking a nice long break from the super busy week i had. the whole day was spent on everything that had nothing to do with med- and it felt great.

i helped out in our church's mass wedding and renewal of vows event. it was tear jerking, i tell you. lalo na yung mga couples who have lasted 30 years or more, and are beaming with joy as they were walking down the aisle. naluluha ako out of admiration and plain old jealousy. it was so nice, and when they vows part came and they had to say those mushy ekek thing while looking at each other's other's eyes..u really cant help but say awwww.

tapos me and my girlfriends (net, grace, jm and me) embarked on a shopping journey sa shopping adventure sa greenhills. grabe, ang tagal ko ng hindi nagshopping (which really a big shock!!!!) and nagsama sama kami. at naflatter ako na they would ask me for fashion advice. o well, ano pa nga ba ibang silbi ko dun, e wala nman akong pera. wala lang, i really wanted to spend time with them.

then i met up with one of my angels sa mega at nagfood trip kami. i was really happy kasi i really missed him saka i really wanted to talk to one of my closest friends. saya, kwentuhan hanggang magsawa.

its a monday again, and im back to reality. but at least i had a super great time kahapon!!!!

posted by: cleng at June 28, 2004 13:36 | link | comments |

Lately I have been hearing Christian Bautista's version of this song and once again i was reminded of how much i love it. the soothing melody of this song leaves you entranced (the perfect adjective to describe it). there were no frills in the lyrics and the way it was sung-quiet and hopeful. emotions suddenly overwhelm you, whether or not they actually apply to you. i remember when i was in college i would play this song over and over again (cassette pa take note), and would let my mind wander free.

Hands to Heaven - Breathe

As I watch you move, across the moonlit room
There's so much tenderness in your loving
Tomorrow I must leave, the dawn knows no reprieve
God give me strength when I am leaving

So raise your hands to heaven and pray
That we'll be back together someday
Tonight, I need your sweet caress
Hold me in the darkness
Tonight, you calm my restlessness
You relieve my sadness

As we move to embrace, tears run down your face
I whisper words of love, so softly
I can't believe this pain, it's driving me insane
Without your touch, life will be lonely

Morning has come, another day
I must pack my bags and say goodbye, goodbye

posted by: cleng at June 26, 2004 13:19 | link | comments (1) |

natapos na rin ang seminar kahapon. ang masasabi ko lang e...magaling kami. haha dont care kung nagyayabang ako. basta, magaling kami. we worked hard at it, and i know its really good. congrats to us. one down, a lot more to go. hehe

kahapon i was talking to a friend, and i was irritated about something na kinuwento niya (not at her ha, dun sa kinuwento niya). agree with me nga. d ba love lives are not considered a competition or a race? everyone sets his or her own pace when it comes to choosing sumone for them. each of us have our own beliefs, ideals and preferences, and if we we choose not to have any relationship at certain points, who the hell has the right to say anything about it? something as intimate and as private as love lives deserves to be left in the hands of those who own it. yun lang. hehe.

hay naku, sa sobrang gastos nitong module na ito, hindi ako makabili ng joss stone na cd.

posted by: cleng at June 26, 2004 09:04 | link | comments |

this is a breather for me. thank God for manila day (and to whoever government official who thought of it.) for the past weeks my group have been running all over the med building, and metro manila for that matter, trying to put together at least a half respectable seminar worthy of the department of preventive medicine's standards.

tomorrows the big day, and we are scared out of our heads of how it will turn out. especially our fearless leader. grabe si pareng oliver. i have to hand it to him. grabe ang ability niya to handle super major amounts of stress. people who really know me have seen me go through stressful moments of my life and it's not pretty. pero itong kakaibang taong ito, he can still afford to smile and not get mad in really tough moments. teka, il check later kung humihinga pa siya. hehe well, his attitude toward this nerve racking event seem to exert a positive effect of his governing body. everybody's helping him out.

but i love my group. im blessed to have them. we spend most of out time laughing (cause we really need it), and trying to have fun. and we basically all get along, and everybody's nice. gained new friends and even became closer to the people im already friends with.

tomorrow's going to be really busy (todo na!!!). pls pray for our seminar. im finished with my job in making the program and giveaways (it is so kikay parang souveneir ng debut), kaya il just be manning the registration table and basically volunteer to be enslaved to whoever might need my help.

posted by: cleng at June 24, 2004 13:20 | link | comments |

major topak ako.

kagabi mangiyak ngiyak na ko. this has become some sort of a start of the schoolyear syndrome. yung inarte kong I DONT BELONG IN MED SCHOOL. alam niyo, minsan feeling ko im not smart enough to fit in, at lagi akong lost sa mga nangyayari. d ko kayang magmultitasking katulad ng ibang tao. yup, my ego is down and out (hiniram ko lang itong term na ito). kahapon something happened na d nman grabe, pero i really felt bad. feeling ko hindi ako nakakatulong. med can do strange things to you. everybody's really busy, tpos ur in the middle of it asking yourself, ano nga ba gagawin ko? lost. lost si claire. thank God talaga for friends (and little brothers) who would patiently listen to me kahit na walang kwenta mga paiinarte ko.

posted by: cleng at June 22, 2004 07:30 | link | comments |

i better start writing this early in the morning bago mapagod ang utak ko ulit (feeling ginagamit talaga). things are not so hectic today kasi all we have to do is watch the other group report on occupational med. tapos consultation lang sa research proposal (thesis ba ito ulit?!!! waah!!!). i like the my med life's pace now. nice and slow with a lot of bonding time with classmates. pati i get to spend a lot of time sa internet doing research..and other things. hehe

speaking of thesis, 2 sa pare ko ay slaving over their thesis and im worried about them. d na sila natutulog at lagi nalang masakit ang ulo, or d makabangon, etc. my doc instinct kicked in again. hehe i swear, pag natapos yang thesis na yan...kasama ako sa mga taong tatalon sa tuwa.

kahapon i watched this with a friend i sort of have been missing these past days:

ok lang nman...ewan ko, hindi ako masyadong nagemote kagabi. i think i have lost the ability to feel and that pretty much scared me. d na yata ako tinatablan yung mga mushy lines na yan. i havent pulled the shirt ng katabi ko kagabi gaya ng ginagawa ko pag nagmega senti na ako. i  miss the feeling of being overpowered by human emotions. or pagod lang talaga ako kagabi. ewan. pero ito ang favorite part ko (biglang nagkafavorite part e no) yung nasa deck sila tapos sabi ni kristine, gusto ko lang naman na paggising sa umaga, nakikita yung mahal ko. at kahit gaano kapangit ang araw ko, yung alam ko na uuwi ako sa taong who will make everything alright. hay, i long for that...minsan med causes me to want to scream out loud and i have no one to scream upon. i want someone to share my emotions and frustrations. e kaso wala pa nga, kaya magblog nalang muna. hehe

frog alert: hoy fred, napaniginipan kita!!!! for more info contact me..maiinis ka pare. hehe pero miss na rin kita.

posted by: cleng at June 17, 2004 07:33 | link | comments (2) |

feel na feel ko ang pagiging toxic ng community med..pero funny d nman ako masyadong maiiritable ngayon. hehe pag sa bahay nman kasi wala msyadong gingawa. saka i like my group (nandun mga previous subsec ko). pero im drained of writing powers na (pansin niyo puro tagalog na mga entries ko?). saka na ako magiinarte with all the ekek sa pagsusulat.

we had our first weekly exposure sa community khapon. it was ok, actually, it reminded me sa vbs (na namiss ko sobra!). ok nman kasi kami ni partner ian e..yun nga lang, medyo nakakapagod. 2 na kami nakapaglunch and we had to meet again to discuss yung iba pang mga project. sumakit ang ulo ko kakatally ng mga data nmin (si nemia kasi..hehe private joke ng group namin). pero the people there are nice and i really hope we can help them sa mga health prolems nila. our index patient sa adopted family namin has rheumatic heart disease. grabe ang heartbeat niya, nagwawala. she should be undergoing surgery pero wala raw money (ian, isponsor mo na!!!!). sana nga we can help them. preggy pa man din. delikado.

nagagalit na nman ako ha. ayaw manahimik ng mga taong nakasakit ng mahal ko sa buhay. ang kapal talaga ng mukha. he wont admit na siya nman talaga ang mali. nagmamagaling kasi. i thought he was supposed to be smart. ewan ko kung nagmamanhidmahiran sa pain na he caused hindi lang sa friend ko, kundi para sakin. hay ewan. saan man lang manahimik ka nlang.

posted by: cleng at June 16, 2004 16:02 | link | comments |

namiss ko panuorin ang basketball/agawan buko ng mga unggoy.

kahapon mike cembrano called me sa cell asking kung makakahabol pa raw siya sa basket ng mga pinakabuff at machong lalaki sa balat ng antipolo. gusto kong sabihing, isama mo ako!!!!! pero siyempre hindi pwede. pero miss ko na si mia at si hanna at ang girl talk naming nonstop for two hours. grabe yun. at siyempre d ko na makikita masyado ang mga pare ko. sana bakasyon na ulit para tuloy ang saya (ano ba yan, second week lang pala ng school).

MISS YOU MONKEYS!!!!

..sobrang tagalog nitong entry

posted by: cleng at June 14, 2004 15:44 | link | comments |

its hard.

you say something, i take a step back.

my heart drops a notch lower.

what if i get too far?

i might just turn and walk away...

 

posted by: cleng at June 14, 2004 15:33 | link | comments |

i'm sick. christel's sick. sam's sick. hay naku. kahapon i cant sleep kasi everytime i swallow my tonsils hurt..parang kinakaskas ang lalamunan ko. cant afford to be sick next week kasi punta na kami sa community.

kanina we met up with our groups and there's lots of work to be done. may seminar presentation on traditional med, research presentation, family profile, community health programs, and occupational med presentation on barotrauma. hehe d pa nagstart yung totoong work, pero parang overwhelmed na lahat. ako feeling ko there's this big wave of toxicity ready to wash over me. hehe ive been chosen as assistant leader for the social block (community health program). dun well be doing biostatistics and epidemiology (big words huh?). basta..tons and tons of stuff to do. hehe pero feel ko magsipag ngayon.sana lang maging essential group member nman ako..for a change.

posted by: cleng at June 10, 2004 21:27 | link | comments |

dark secret:

for a long time ive been reading someone else's blog. total stranger...hindi dahil im trying to get some juicy stuff out of someone, tipong cyber eavesdropper. just something i stumbled upon. hehe. i just find it amusing to see one's life through one's writing. lalo na if its about love. hehe.

and she writes really well too.

speaking of good reads, i recommended you guys read this book.

of all the current cosmo pocketbook series..it is the one most cleverly written. i plan to do a writeup on the book...offspin baga. im going to get parts from it and write my own insights.

hay..i suddenly wish i did take up that journalism course in ateneo. i sometimes imagine kung ano na ako ngayon kung tinuloy ko yun. when i was in high school i lacked confidence  when it comes to writing kasi i felt that the stuff i have was too corny and lameto be read by the public. e ngayon i realized that you dont have to be really good to write. you just got to have passion. to have that really great urge to write and write and wite, then find some great satisfaction in it. i just hope God will open some opportunity for me to really write for something i like (gusto ko ngayon seventeen or candy magazine, para i can unleash my kakikayan to the rest of the female population, pero mukhang overage na ako to apply for that e). hehe who knows, db? hehe. il settle will this blog for now.

posted by: cleng at June 09, 2004 14:07 | link | comments |

cutee...ilove this guy..inaanak ko.. c nav!!!

posted by: cleng at June 09, 2004 13:09 | link | comments |

buti nlang wednesday..wala naman akong pasok (ikaw talaga claire..kakapasok mo lang kahapon ha!!!) hehe. grabe nman kasing first day yun. it was all orientation pero sagad sagad pa rin sa oras!!! gravedoods talaga. overwhelming lahat. my first module is.... tentententen!!!

COMMUNITY MEDICINE

and what in the world is this? fieldwork, basically. we get to be public health people and design health plans in a community somewhere in leveriza..sa may malate. we are paired as partners (hehe.. i like mine. c mega brainy ian levy chua a.k.a. mr. class leader ng module na ito). hay, pero there's going to be lots of paper work to be done. may reseach paper pa gaming gagawin (which i like least kasi takes me back sa thesis making), documentaries (amin yata traditional med), etc. pero exciting..kasing we will be doctors to real patients and advise them stuff.

i think im going to be sick. kahapon christel has a cold and i think i caught it. i woke up mga 12 am kanina and my tonsils hurt like crazy. inom na ng gamot before it gets worse.

o, sabihin nyo sakin na hindi ito gwapo...hehe grabe...nabaliw na talaga ako.

posted by: cleng at June 09, 2004 12:57 | link | comments |

hello!!! hehe first day of schooling ko na (dont mind me, mali mali and grammar ko today). for the first time in what seems to be a thousand years ago (exag), i woke up at 5 am. grabe, ang daya. bakit kailangan magstart ng ganito kaaga? hehe at siyempre i arrived sa skul ng 7 am, only to find out na 10 pa ang orientation. hay naku claire, big surprise pa daw.

i played babysitter kahapon...watched harry potter 3 with my cousins and newly adopted baby brother jason. a lot of people have been saying na male version ko raw to. pag i can get hold of his pic il post it d2 sa journal. it was my last hurrah for summer. pero hindi pa rin ako nakapagswimming ng maayos. hay, at d na tuloy yung beach na pinapangarap nmin ng mga unggoy. o well.

buti nlang natapos na ang kabaliwan ko sa star circle quest na yan (syempre tapos na e!!!). you should have seen me last saturday, sobrang nagtatatalon ako over hero angeles. first time i went crazy over some actor sa tv. i was texting rjay and jason "Ahhhh!!!!!! c hero!!!! ang gwaaaapooooo!!!!". wierd no. hehe.

pero e ang gwapo talaga e.....

haha. punta na akong class. mamya nlang ulit.

ayy..eto na c jayson

posted by: cleng at June 08, 2004 09:09 | link | comments |

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