in limbo

almost seven years inappropriate (due to age status), i attended my first-and probably last Seventeen magazine anniversary party. loved it-daming freebies and kikay stuff. it was the mother ship calling me home.

posted by: cleng at July 31, 2004 13:22 | link | comments (1) |

What in the world happened to my template? i just posted something from femalenetwork and suddenly the checkered background thing disappeared. o well, chose this new one kahit na its a sort of a let-get-back-to-nature feel (green is the new pink..hehe..o wait..green is the 2004 color right?)

u guys missed me, right? hehe i know u did. u miss having those almost everyday entries ng mga litanya ko and musings about life. i know because inspite of my lack of entries the visit counter is still climbing. the truth is i miss you guys too. i miss the comments, the sharing of experiences and the connection with the people who have been reading this journal. i dread the day when i would be too busy (which out happen in less in a year's time), to even log in to check my chatterbox and see who's been wanting to say hello. hope you guys will always be there (sniff...sniff..hehe drama ko!!!)

good thing i have some spare time alone, so that i can bare my thoughts out on this green think tank. i tried writing something last tuesday, but in the middle of my no-rough-draft fourth paragraph, the electricity went off sa buong UST and i found myself staring at a blank screen-totally nakakainis. its like someone's pulled the plug in my head. hehe hope it wont happen this time..

il give you a quick (but long) rundown on what's been happening to be the past few days

...psychiatry so far has been kakaloka. all those mood and personality disorders makes you want to diagnose yourself of having them at one point in your life or another. i had the first quiz last monday, and it reminded me of the dreaded neurology days. crazy. sana lang no, i passed. i hope my sudden shift to nerdiness had done me some good.

...i got to see donnabel, my childhood best friend in sunday school. she got married two weeks ago, and jon and i surprised her with a visit. well, things changed of course (u dont talk about crayons anymore or who gets to have the wafer during break time). but marriage..whew..the idea is starting to creep up on me. after all, most of the people in my batch are starting to have careers and thinking about marriage. it starts..waah!!! hehe wala lang.

...one of my angels visited me sa house last friday. wala akong pasok nun, so i went to my antipolo resthouse (feeling!) a day early, and there i saw a monkey for what seemed like a really long time. we ate a lot of stuff in the house (food, i mean),laughed,told stories and well...i missed that. i miss my angels. that visit gave me the opportunity to reassess certain situations and i found myself smiling how things turned out. i mean, it wasnt what i expected them to be, but still, where i am now with certain people is probably one of the best things i could ever imagine it would be. what in the world is claire saying? hehehe

...watched a movie with my old subsec, my beloved D2. it was almost complete (except for fritzy of course, hay naku). i got to be the gimik organizer. we watched along came polly which i would highly recommend kasi its super funny (catch the hippo story). ill postpone the movie review muna, this entry's way too long na. tapos we ate sa chef the angelo and spent two wonderful hours kwentuhan and serious bonding. i love you guys!!!

...it seems like everybody's in a hurry for me to be a doctor these days. they never get tired of asking , ilang taon ka pa ba? if only i have a flashing sign across my forehead 2 YEARS PA!!!! it would save me a lot of energy explaining to people why i not a graduate yet. but i really hope il be a good doc that most people in my life will be proud of.

...im earnestly praying to God for a certain area in my life. i dont know if its that hard, but more often its my fear of rejection that keeps me from trying. arrgh. i need faith-super strength.

hehe. tired from reading? cge, next time nalang ulit.

posted by: cleng at July 29, 2004 15:39 | link | comments |

u guys are probably wondering why i dont write as much as i used to. hehe wala lang. its one thing to be left to your thoughts and wander away into oblivion. when you're all spaced out (translate: nakatanga), you get to think about almost anything. but im almost never alone these days (and heck, im not complaining!!!). hehe iv traded my love for writing into something much more exciting. and that i seldom have any spare time left (refer to previous entry).

i miss my monkeys more than ever. i dont get to talk to them at all anymore (except for the up and coming angel rjay mercado). pero alam ko nmang nagbabasa ang mga unggoy na yan e. i just hope that they are ok.

things are changing drastically these days....and all for the better. i just hope it stays that way. i have new friends, new study habits, new interests. hehe i think ibang iba ako from the entires i used to write last schoolyear, where all i did was get depressed and rant about how life is so hard and this and that. haha. funny how i look at life now. everything appears too easy. that nothing can bring me down. great changes, but exactly what i've always wanted.

posted by: cleng at July 19, 2004 12:31 | link | comments |

i am now a nerd.

i now study more often than i ever did before.

i now read in advance.

i now make a hundred kilometer worth of notes for sgt.

but i am a happy nerd.

i now smile more often than i used to.

i now look forward to coming to school.

life has never been close to perfect.

posted by: cleng at July 19, 2004 12:06 | link | comments |

hello people!!! i am so back. natapos na rin ang community med and i must say it is quite the experience.. for so many reasons. pero i really missed blogging, so i took the time out this morning to come early sa school (my class starts at 1 pm), chose a seat in one of the more quiet corners here sa UST LRU (well, fritz is here beside me, but he's not really the madaldal type). im free to just think and write about it.

daming nangyayari sa buhay na right smack in the middle of it, you wish you had a pc right in front of you to capture the moment. everytime i want to write something, i would make a mental note to remember it the next time i log into motime. well, my memory is not the best version you can find these days so i guess il just have to try my best about the ones i can remember. hehe pero marami pa rin yun e. how long does motime allow an entry to be, anyway?

mall-starved. i guess that would have to be my biggest reklamo ever since community med began. the lack of finances definitely has something to do with it, but i guess most of the time i was just too tired to really go out and appreciate (without being tortured) the things girls live for. well, buti nlang one sunday morning i had to buy a pair of slippers for one of the kids in our adopted family. he hasnt got any and he has been running around the public streets half naked and his feet the perfect site of entry for a million and one parasites. i think the slippers was just an excuse to go out, cause when i entered the mall, lo and behold, the old claire kicked in. the one who was so crazy about clothes and accessories, and well, most of you know me anyway. i bought cloth belts, which cost something like 70 pesos lang. Landmark is the best! hehe

tapos i tried to look for a plain white shirt to go with it (hirap talagang maging girl, everything has to match). pero every shirt i saw sa mall had things written over it like sexy (which would be me)..haha. ewan ko ba, i think anyone wants to be anything but plain nowadays. take for example, me... or else, i wouldnt be buying those belts. just realized that most us are trying so hard to stand out, kaya everyone's in a mad rush to buy this and get that, etc.

but the thing is, most people stand out without even trying. one sunday we prayed for tita julie fuentes, our missionary from china, and as she stood there in front of the congregation, i thought to myself, my goodness, i have never seen someone so beautiful. she wasnt a knockout gorgeous babe, she was just dressed simply and had no makeup. but the inner beauty was stunning. i dont know if a lot of people noticed that but i did, and it was amazing. i think when you have that kind and gentle spirit like tita julie has, it shines through beyond the exterior. i guess that is what a lot of us have to focus on these days, instead of trying to cover up ourselves with the things fashion and the media throws at our face. but im still allowed to have accessories right? hehe

one more thing, have you ever experienced the sort of thing where you have this goofy smile in your face and when people ask you how are, you give them that look and then they start smiling too? then all you do the next couple of minutes is wear those goofy grins? well, that is what is happening to me these past couple of days, and i think im infecting a lot of people. wierd, but happy.

posted by: cleng at July 13, 2004 08:03 | link | comments |

all i wanted was a smile

was it too much to ask?

 

posted by: cleng at July 09, 2004 10:06 | link | comments (1) |

showbiz course ba ito? lately wala kaming ginawa kundi magshooting. it's like being in high school again (or sir nierra's marriage subject). siyempre i get to show my acting prowess..hehe kung meron nga. it was the perfect time to do some hard core bonding with new friends hehe. pero as usual sobrang nakakapagod na nman. kahapon i went home mga 10:30 pm na kasi nagshoot pa kami sa bahay ni charo.

i have a new angel in the making. hay naku, naalala ko bigla na d ko na nakakausap sila. waah!!!!

i have a smile on my face lately...bakit kaya? wahaha!!!

miss you girlfriends!!!!!

posted by: cleng at July 02, 2004 10:07 | link | comments |

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